Why you need to feel worse to feel better 

It’s almost seems like common sense doesn’t it? No one ever wants to feel bad, much less worse. Ok. There could be some people who do want to but, that’s not what I’m hear to talk about. 

One day a while a go now I was feeling pretty down. I’m sure I’ve felt down a lot of times since then but, what stuck in my head was that I hugged myself. Yep. I hugged myself. Almost as goofy as the old self pat on the back. 

The thing is I realised in that moment that feeling bad wasn’t my enemy. Maybe more like a frenemy lol. If we don’t feel bad what will inspire us to change? Perhaps some people can just keep using positive motivations while some of us still need to get to that uncomfortable point to be able to light our own proverbile fire under our ass. 

Another thing is, as I’ve learned since then, you’ve got to push your boundaries. What does it mean to push your boundaries? It means feeling awkward, uncomfortable, & possible a bit nervous to say the least. 

For example, I took an orientation to ecopsycology class a couple years ago. There is soooo much I LOVE about ecopsychoogy but, I also had to makes myself feel worse to complete it. What I mean is we had to go out into different natural environments and speak to/commune with the natural elements in that area and then answer questions that we were assigned. No matter how much I believed in it I always felt like an absolutely nutcase going out to do the assignement. During a LOT of the time I would be worried that someone would see me or work out what I was doing & think I’d lost my mind. In the end, when I had completed the assignement and then reflected on it I felt so wonderful, calm & connected. 

In the end we all know that “it’s darkest before the dawn”, “every cloud has a silverlining” & “when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up”. The thing is, I don’t think many of us realise how much good the “worse” gives is in the end. 


Climate change is spreading diseases you haven’t even heard of yet

Now this has definitely got me a little sick in the gut. The hardest thing to swallow for me was this quote near the end – “Here’s the irony,” Brooks says. “The countries that have the money and the technology to actually make a difference don’t feel the crisis, and the countries that feel the crisis don’t have the money to do anything.”


Hollywood tradition dictates that in Act One of the outbreak narrative, we begin deep in the bowels of the CDC, cell cultures sloshing around a petri dish, a gaggle of white coats huddled around a microscope. Cut to the limb-flailing, flesh-eating symptoms, entire families frothing at the mouth — once unleashed, the pathogen will sweep the globe and consume us all before you can finish your Hail Marys: I’ve always loved you, Nancy!

 But according to Daniel Brooks, who’s been studying the rise of emerging infectious diseases (EIDs) for 40 years, the Hollywood model needs to be recalibrated in light of climate change.

“It’s not that there’s going to be one ‘Andromeda Strain’ that will wipe out everybody on the planet,” says Brooks, professor emeritus at Toronto University and a senior research fellow at the University of Nebraska’s H.W. Manter Parasitology Lab. “There are going to be a lot…

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5 Great Ways to share your garden Surplus!


So you do or have grown your own fruit/veggies? Perhaps you stopped because you hated to see all that good stuff going to waste? Do you have a tinge of sadness every time you harvest? Perhaps, you look at your garden & think “holy crow, what am I going to do with ALL of that?!”. Well never fear, I have 3 great ideas that you can put to good use immediately!

First Option –

Do you know a family that’s doing it rough at the moment? Or perhaps they are always tight? BRING IT TO THEM! Not a truckload mind you, they can only use a certain amount too lol. I suggest for most people, don’t ask them. That’s right I said do not ask them. WHY? Well, most ppl, myself included, are too embarrassed to say yes. We also don’t want to “put other’s out” or be a “burden”. Yeah, I know, silliness & it’s our issues we need to get over but, many of us still battle them. If you rock up to their house & knock holding the bags they are more likely to take it. Don’t worry, most every body will feel grateful after you walk out at least. LOL! Not because you left but, because they can’t let their defences down. If you want, you can always play Spy & wait until no one is home & leave by their front door ;).

I can honestly say it meant the world to me when I recently had some people do it to me. Granted our kids were besties since the the start of the school year (we start at the end of January here) but, it’s not like we knew each other well.

Second option-

Take it to a food bank. Some of you may not know what this is so, I’ll fill you in. Some of us who are doing it rough from time to time have to go to outside sources and ask for either vouchers to the local grocery store or food from donations that they have. Now, for many of us it isn’t a proud moment but, it sure does help when you are unexpectedly unemployed for a while, a larger than average bill came in or your child needed something like new shoes.

Where can you find them? Hopefully, it will be pretty darn easy for you. The best thing to do is start with the bigger places that you know help people out. They are the ones that you usually see on TV asking for donations or come around door to door such as the Red Cross. Here in Australia we also have St Vincet de Paul (aka: Vinnies), The Good Shephard, The Brotherhood & many different churches. You will be happier knowing you are giving people a chance to have healthy fresh food while not letting the labour of your love go to waste & they’ll probably be ecstatic to not get prepackaged junk.

Here is a link to a major Foodbank that also lists big companies that donate (might be a lead too!)

Third Option-

Get a few of you together that you know grow your own or have fruit trees dropping fruit everywhere & start an “op-shop” in your area. I know that is may sound weird but, they have actually just recently opened a Fruit & Veg Op-Shop (that link will take you to their FB page in case you want more info!) in our area. Basically, ppl donate from the surrounding area all their surplus fruit & veg. The Op-shop then sells it for $1 a bag. Another win-win in my opinion.

Fourth Option – 


     Join your local co-op. How do you find them???? Sometimes a google or Facebook search will bring them up but, you can always ask your local permaculture group. Then there are the places that advertise organic veggies who could probably link you to a farmer or the like who might be able to guide you. If you try those & can’t find them, send me a message & I’ll do what I can to help.

Fifth Option –


     The local farmer’s market ain’t just for “farmers” anymore. You grow food? You are a small time farmer my friend & you can go to the farmer’s market. If you don’t think you have enough to make it worth it, work out something with other people from your local community be it via your kid(s) school, work, friends of the neighbour & pool together. Then you can take turns manning the stall & split the profits. Then you might have a little extra cash to not only get new seeds (if you haven’t saved your own) or that new addition to your garden you’ve been drooling over!

I hope that’s helped you. I am happy to help you find any of these things in your area if you are struggling. Just remember, I am a single mum & I am doing a lot of things myself so, don’t just expect me to do it all for you, but, I am happy to help & see what I can do for getting you possible contacts etc be it for local laws for doing some of the options or connections to share your produce.

My love & appreciation goes out to all those people who sow, grow & share. It’s made a difference for my daughter & I in these last few weeks. I look forward to getting my soil teeming with life so I can grow more myself.

Kindest wishes,

Cheyenne Christine

I stand quietly

What a wonderful prose expressing life with an autistic child. I alms it feel like the “I stand quietly” is like a forced gag she wears to help her daughter & to keep herself from shattering. As if she stops standing quietly she’ll scream & sob into a million pieces

Dirty, Naked & Happy

I stand quietly while you do somersaults on the bed as you aren’t being naughty, you are just trying to get your out of sync body under control.

I stand quietly by the toilet door every time you need to go, and come with you around the house, and sometimes even just across the room, because I know you can feel truly frightened when you are not near me.

I stand quietly at the supermarket checkout while everyone stares at you barking like a dog and blowing raspberries on my arms to cope with the buzzing lights.

I stand quietly while you tell the baffled shop owner that you are looking for shoes that feel hard like splintered wood because your skin can’t bear soft things.

I stand quietly when the attendant gives us scornful looks when I ask for the key to the disabled toilet because the hand dryer…

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Wind turbines on the Eiffel tower? WOW! That’s amazing. It’s great though part of me can’t believe a world icon like that would willing have it’s profile changed like that. Wonder who will be brave & be next?


“One of the world’s most iconic sites has become the latest high profile venue to embrace renewable energy, after the installation of two vertical axis wind turbines as part of the Eiffel tower’s high profile renovation project.” (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/25/eiffel-tower-embraces-wind-power)

Vive la revolution.

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Thought for today February 27th 2015

As do I. I want to positively affect ppl whether they know it’s me or not

Veraiconica's Blog

Mirrors of Our Highest Selves

We need more kindness, more compassion,
more joy, more laughter.
I definitely want to contribute to that.

Photography Credit
Larry Cochran
<a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/lalalands/13166513315″

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Moving from the city to a farm – a pre-step to a dream

Have you ever had a dream, something you wanted but, until you stopped & traced it back had no idea where the dream or longing came from? Some of my friends said it was a “mid-life” crisis. Others said I would be crazy to move us that far out & change my daughter’s primary a THIRD time but, there were a few who said ” You would be NUTS not to take this opportunity!”. One of my best friends told me straight out – “If you do not try this I NEVER, EVER want to hear you bitch about your job again.” Wow, OK……..

Goat love

Kid love

That’s my daughter with one of the last kids I promised her we would adopt. His name was Cuddlepie. Before you ask she has never read any of the Snugglepot books to my knowledge, I’m not even sure I just wrote the title correctly. The reason it was the last one was because sadly, Cuddlepie and many others died bless their little souls. It was a great, yet horrible experience. Let me tell you how it all started.

As I mentioned in my previous post about camping, I just couldn’t take the normal, average, mundane job. It was making me physically ill. It’s not that I am a princess & think I should be taking care of (though that would be nice on an occasion or 3!), it’s just, I was too awake to continue. Does that make sense? My “awakening” or “re-awakening” had been happening for YEEEAAARRRRSSSS but, I was also growing a backbone at the same time so, I guess I progressed decently.

The thing is once I started on the road to growing veggies at home……something in me kinda took off. I only wanted to learn to grow a few things so that my daughter would actually eat them. See, every time we went to her great-grandmother’s house she would wander around the backyard & just kind of feast on the things growing there. It helped that her father’s family is very into organics before organics was a thing. I admired them, agreed with most of their point of view on it all & of course as most parents do, wanted the best for my little monkey.

So, I plodded to a “Home Harvest” course to get a few basics and before I know it – BAM! I was hit with the permaculture bug. The class I had taken happen to be at a local permaculture garden & I was learning all this fascinating stuff that just a generation or 2 ago most new by heart!! After that I took a certified Permaculture Design Course. I could go on for ages about what I did & when but, I don’t want you to go to sleep.

My dream, my longing began with that home harvest class & hearing about all the exciting things my ex’s aunt & uncle did in the world of Permaculture. The more my daughter & I would talk about what kind of plants we’d like the more we added. It wasn’t long before we were talking about all kinds of animals as well! You know what happened then? We realised….WE WANT A FARM!!!!!!

What’s one of the BIGGEST obstacles to your dream?

Mine (other than having no $ to buy a farm lol) was knowledge. Now, taking a life long city/suburbian & plopping them down in the country can, will & dose have consequences. Give that city person a farm with a bunch of living things and well…I reckon you have a recipe for disaster either to the person(s) or to the living things.

Who wants to fail at achieving their dream???????

Not me, that’s for sure!

Then I had this ingenious thought. Why don’t I work on a farm & learn how to do some of it before we ever get a farm that way I am more likely to manage & not wound or hurt the animals?! Makes sense don’t you think? I thought so & my daughter was up for the adventure (albeit with the wisdom of a 6 year old).

WHAT is up with itty bitty caravans on farms?

The few positions I found that wanted a live on farm, farm-hand had these itty bitty caravans which, of course they then weren’t comfortable allowing my daughter & I to live in. One even had made the shower outside!!! Could you imagine doing that in winter?????? I found out that most farmers usually hire backpackers. From what they offer for “accommodation” I can’t see how most of the backpackers get through that part of their working visa & totally understand why so many ppl have a hard time finding good, long term farm work!

What happens when you achieve a big goal?

It’s like………like……….wonderfully scary & surreal all that the same time. I finally answered an ad where the man had an actual HOUSE & not only that, he was OK with my daughter & was happy for us to get any pets we wanted. To ice my cake just a little I was going to get PAID. Holy guacamole. I felt like a dog that chased a car and actually caught it. I was flipping out!!!! I decided to take the leap & move 2 hours away from everyone & everything I know in this country to give this a go. I mean how often do you get handed the 2nd best thing to your dream on a platter? He was upfront & told me things were declining & he really hoped I could help pull it out. I was excited.

I did what I thought was my due diligence & went to spend the night on the farm to check it all out & talked to a few ppl about town etc. Seems, my investigative skills need some MAJOR honing! thing is….. I didn’t really know who to talk to nor did I know anything much about animals so…I didn’t understand what I was seeing. I mean the man has a 1 chef hat restaurant in Prahan for goodness sakes. Surely he knows what he is doing…….right?

Sad to say, it all went down hill very quickly. By time I moved up, the backpackers that were there were telling me about all the animals that had died or where dying in the month since I had been there. There was so much inbreeding of the animals that some were coming out…..a bit different & some animals were so young they couldn’t birth their babies. The owner refused to let us deworm them, or deal with their hoof hoofrot & many other things he was very particular about though he was rarely ever there & when he was it was for a few hours at a time. And many things that would anger & frustrate you if I shared happened.

After 45 days the owner calls me to tell me that he is going to sell the land & house that my daughter & I were living on. Great. I just left a great community & a good school in an area I know well, spent all my savings to move my daughter & I up there to be told now, I need to find not only a new place to live but, a new job as well.

What happens when your reach for the dream leaves you flat on your face?

For me…..a bit of depression & self-pity. Then of course I went to anger & resentment which, turned into resignation. It really wounded my ego & even shook the desire for our dream farm. I am sure other people face it differently but, that’s what makes life interesting right?

What do you do after that?

Hopefully, you’ll look at it & see what you can do better in the next step for your dream. We decided to stay in the area for a multitude reasons. I don’t like driving past that farm & thankfully I rarely need to. It’s still a bit sour but, with more time I won’t think twice about. I took a job on a different farm & have way different duties but, that experience has made me realise a few things. 1 – I can actually do it. I can do a lot of the work myself but, it probably would be safer to have others working around too. 2- I love, love, love working with animals. 3 – Poo no longer bother’s me so much (except for kitty litter but, I can’t explain that!) & my gross out levels are WAY higher than they were pre-farm. 4 – If I can stick my hand up a goats vagina, there ain’t much in life stopping me now! Knowing how much I miss interacting with the animals let’s me know that my farm is still a possibility. 5- The farm brought out a much more independent child which was lovely to see. Knowing I can learn new things & feel happy when I am working……well, I guess that more than pays for the stress & worry I went through during the whole thing.

What are your dreams? Have you started working toward them? Can you even define them yet? Please, share with me